hydrangeas

look i know this is supposed to be a chinese blog, but hack, what's with me playing pretense and all that... can never be cheena and will never... look this post is gonna hurt a few, shocked a few or maybe make a few hate me, but oh what this is my fuckin blog, and its only right for me to put on what i want... and for the few who might think that i dont know ure reading.... have fun.....

as the title of this post may have suggested... its dangerous... it may just poison you... or turn you off... but this is what i have to say... really... i've been covering myself up, coping myself and it seems that im much screwed than britney

i know, ive been a slut a whore or even a lying bitch,i dont need anyone to fuckin to tell me how bad i've been... but you know what, i've been trying to change... i've had my bad times... i was this fuckin slut and you can never imagine what lies beneath my innocent shell... think... all the sluts that have appeared in one of those lindsay's movies.. yes im that bad... as some of my friends would have known....

but the past has been haunting me like never before at the same time... maybe.... think weird people coming up to touch me... or even tried to violate me... i've been there done that... i dont have the perfect life as some of you might think... i dress nice... but i dress smart too... for goodness sake what's wrong with mustafa goods? just get a tailor.... and that i am so not fucking rich as much as i want myself to be... fuckin wait for a sale and buy smart during CNY... do your research on the upcoming trends... and you dont even need to spend much to look good... nobody ever said fashion was easy...

sorry i digressed....but back to the point... i've been trying to change for the better... judging from the bimbotic virgins (mega bad combi) environments i'm being thrown in, it seems that i've been doing all good being the nice but competitive bitch that kick ass... however i suppose enough is enough... with the past temptation haunting me at the same time... i guess its time for me to be the person im most happy being myself...the bitch....

and let me run down what this bitch can actually do to you... dont ever cross the line.... you are not my best friend just because u had dinner with me for a night? i mean thats fuckin ridiculous... and oh dont even bother abt jumping straight abt some kind of a slut i am...think... if you're bitchin over me now... does that make u a holy virgin? Look i am not that of a bad person... in fact i just returned 2 phones i found today! not like that fucking bastard/bitch who just stole mine? but sometime i need a lil breather... nobody is perfect and im not gonna be nice and be all hypocritical... and be like OH YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD ALL FUCKIN WEAR RED OR GREED THIS CHRISTMAS... this is not me....

im that guy that greats you with a bitch in the morning... so take it easy... if whoever gets fuck around is a bitch i guess the number of STD cases would have sky rocketed since i started calling my friends a bitch...

and lastly, i know i've really been a slut, whore, bitch or whatever you can think of... or maybe even harlot(thanks elaine for teaching me this vocab =)), i'm still trying to be myself, and in fact im a nice person... i dont need to have like a 1000 people on my friendster to prove that i am a nice hypocritial bimbo... but it's up to you to accept me or not... i don't need another so called "friend" whom i have to be "nice" with... coz i kick assed... and if you think you cant be friends with me its fine... and i wonder how will the "nice" you fit into working environment when ure out of school? orhhh dont cry....

sad as it might have sound... but i've never felt better than now... i've been sooo bottled up for one whole year... with people taking advantage of me physically or mentally... and i have just one thing to say? nobody has any rights to ask me to do anything to my blog... its my fuckin blog... be glad i didnt get to the police... coz if i ever have to resort to that... it means that i fuckin have nothing to lose anymore